Social Anxiety Disorder is a fear of social situations that involve interaction with other people. People who have social anxiety often fear that they are being watched, judged, and evaluated by other people. It is often mistaken for shyness or low self-esteem. There are many different causes of social anxiety, however, the cause of social anxiety in some people simply cannot be explained.
A common cause of social anxiety is a traumatic social experience. If a person is 'picked on' or made fun of during childhood, they are likely to develop social anxiety. Social Anxiety can even develop during adulthood, as a result of a traumatic social experience. Some researchers believe that adult onset social anxiety, due to a traumatic social experience, is the easiest social anxiety to treat, because the person simply needs to regain their self-confidence. This isn't necessarily so for everyone.
Another common cause of social anxiety is a learned response. If a child has parents who have social anxiety, there is a good chance that the child will learn to fear social situations as well. As children, we learn everything from the people who are around us the very most. Alternately, some people who have vivacious, outgoing parents develop social anxiety as a result. They have underlying fears that make them feel that they could never live up to the standard that their parents have set - so, instead of being outgoing, they withdraw, and develop social anxiety as a result.
Furthermore, social anxiety can develop due to misleading or inaccurate information. For instance, if a girl is a tomboy as a child, and she is often discouraged from playing sports and climbing trees - while being encouraged to play with dolls, she could develop social anxiety. She would succumb to social pressure from friends and family members to 'do what girls do, not what boys do.' This could become a big problem as she grows up. Dating could become a problem, because she will not feel that she is not feminine, or 'lady like' enough for any boy to be interested in her - she likes sports after all. The thought process is totally inaccurate, but it is what she learned as a child. She would be confronted with the issue over and over as time goes by, and eventually, she would develop social anxiety - never feeling like she fits in, and always feeling like she is being judged.
Researchers now also believe that social anxiety can be inherited genetically. Research has shown that identical twins, who share identical genes, experience similar social anxiety symptoms, while fraternal twins, who do not share identical genes, do not experience similar social anxiety symptoms. Research in this area is still ongoing.
The causes of social anxiety vary from person to person. Often, the cause can be found through therapy. Therapists agree that once the underlying cause of social anxiety is found, most people are able to begin dealing with their social anxiety in effective, successful ways.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Visualization And Social Anxiety
Social anxiety disorder greatly reduces the quality of a person's life. People who suffer from social anxiety miss out on so much that life has to offer. Opportunities are greatly limited, because the person who suffers from social anxiety cannot take advantage of any opportunity that might require social interaction - and most opportunities in life do require some sort of social interaction.
Visualization has been proven to be a very effective tool for dealing with social anxiety. Visualization is used to treat many disorders, and it is even used for pain management. Visualization can work in two ways: You can visualize yourself somewhere else, doing something else when you are in a social situation that is causing you anxiety, or you can visualize how a social interaction or event will play out before it occurs to prepare your mind for it.
The first method of visualization, where you visualize yourself in a different place from the one you are currently in is often used for pain management, or to calm down during anxious or stressful situations. The second method of visualization, where you visualize how a situation or event will play out, is the best visualization method for treating social anxiety disorder.
Using the second method of visualization, the concept is fairly simple. The theory is that if you visualize the situation or event in a positive way, over and over, before the event occurs, not only are you more prepared to handle it mentally, but it has been proven that if you think in a positive way, and visualize in a positive way, you will get positive results.
The second method prepares you for the event, but the first method is used during the event, in case you are feeling totally overwhelmed with the social situation that is going on around you. You simply remove yourself from the situation - mentally. People who suffer from social anxiety often use this method, but it should be considered a back-up plan, in case the first method fails to work once you are in the situation.
Visualization can be done with or without the aid of visualization tapes. There are tapes that can be purchased, but in the case of social anxiety, it is better to make your own tapes, since each tape will need to pertain to a specific social situation or event that is coming up in the future.
Visualization begins with some deep breathing exercises. Then, you close your eyes and begin to visualize the event. It is important that you visualize the event completely, starting from where you leave your house to go to the event. Make sure that you use all five senses to make it as real as possible in your mind. Be able to feel the clothes you are wearing, the smells that will be around you, the taste of the food that will be served, and the sound of people talking or music playing. Whatever the social situation will be, imagine it as clearly and realistically as possible.
Do not allow negative images to come into your mind. In your visualization, you should be handling the social situation very well. There is no fear. Nobody is staring at you or judging you. You are saying all the right things at the right times, and it is all going very well. Keep it positive!
Visualize a successful social interaction as many times as possible before the event, and make sure you do the visualization again right before the event. Also, prepare your backup visualization - the first method of visualization. You will need to practice the first method of visualization, where you can mentally remove yourself from an anxious situation, over and over again, until you are able to visualize yourself somewhere else that you consider safe and stress-free, without the use of visualization tapes.
If both methods fail you, first realize that it may take quite a bit of practice until it stops failing you. Then, just tell yourself that the event will end soon, and picture yourself arriving back at your home, where it is safe and comfortable. See yourself kicking your shoes off and fixing a bowl of ice cream. The event will be over soon, and then you can practice for the next event.
The important thing is to not stop trying. You will get it down eventually, and visualization will start to work for you, allowing you to do things that you never dreamed were possible!
Visualization has been proven to be a very effective tool for dealing with social anxiety. Visualization is used to treat many disorders, and it is even used for pain management. Visualization can work in two ways: You can visualize yourself somewhere else, doing something else when you are in a social situation that is causing you anxiety, or you can visualize how a social interaction or event will play out before it occurs to prepare your mind for it.
The first method of visualization, where you visualize yourself in a different place from the one you are currently in is often used for pain management, or to calm down during anxious or stressful situations. The second method of visualization, where you visualize how a situation or event will play out, is the best visualization method for treating social anxiety disorder.
Using the second method of visualization, the concept is fairly simple. The theory is that if you visualize the situation or event in a positive way, over and over, before the event occurs, not only are you more prepared to handle it mentally, but it has been proven that if you think in a positive way, and visualize in a positive way, you will get positive results.
The second method prepares you for the event, but the first method is used during the event, in case you are feeling totally overwhelmed with the social situation that is going on around you. You simply remove yourself from the situation - mentally. People who suffer from social anxiety often use this method, but it should be considered a back-up plan, in case the first method fails to work once you are in the situation.
Visualization can be done with or without the aid of visualization tapes. There are tapes that can be purchased, but in the case of social anxiety, it is better to make your own tapes, since each tape will need to pertain to a specific social situation or event that is coming up in the future.
Visualization begins with some deep breathing exercises. Then, you close your eyes and begin to visualize the event. It is important that you visualize the event completely, starting from where you leave your house to go to the event. Make sure that you use all five senses to make it as real as possible in your mind. Be able to feel the clothes you are wearing, the smells that will be around you, the taste of the food that will be served, and the sound of people talking or music playing. Whatever the social situation will be, imagine it as clearly and realistically as possible.
Do not allow negative images to come into your mind. In your visualization, you should be handling the social situation very well. There is no fear. Nobody is staring at you or judging you. You are saying all the right things at the right times, and it is all going very well. Keep it positive!
Visualize a successful social interaction as many times as possible before the event, and make sure you do the visualization again right before the event. Also, prepare your backup visualization - the first method of visualization. You will need to practice the first method of visualization, where you can mentally remove yourself from an anxious situation, over and over again, until you are able to visualize yourself somewhere else that you consider safe and stress-free, without the use of visualization tapes.
If both methods fail you, first realize that it may take quite a bit of practice until it stops failing you. Then, just tell yourself that the event will end soon, and picture yourself arriving back at your home, where it is safe and comfortable. See yourself kicking your shoes off and fixing a bowl of ice cream. The event will be over soon, and then you can practice for the next event.
The important thing is to not stop trying. You will get it down eventually, and visualization will start to work for you, allowing you to do things that you never dreamed were possible!
The Gallery of Life - What is the spiritual purpose of fine art prints as greeting cards?
Greeting cards. Have you ever really pondered our real intention when sending greeting cards? Of course, you might reply. We want to celebrate; we want to offer inspiration; we want to console; we want to communicate. We often choose landscape photography or nature photography as the basic foundation of our greeting as these scenes display a fabric of life that is both beautiful and peaceful.
Yet, our intentions with greeting cards can have a spiritual purpose. Our greeting can inspire a be-attitude: be happy, be hopeful, be courageous, be comforted, be aware that you are not alone. These are all attributes of character development and reminders of our strength and courage during times of celebration and during times of adversity. Ultimately, greeting cards connect us to each other as immediate family, extended family and a global family.
So, when choosing unique greeting cards, have a new level of consciousness concerning its potential. The magic of your selected beautiful scene and inspirational thoughts may literally be your contribution to change our world, and make it better, one person at a time.
Yet, our intentions with greeting cards can have a spiritual purpose. Our greeting can inspire a be-attitude: be happy, be hopeful, be courageous, be comforted, be aware that you are not alone. These are all attributes of character development and reminders of our strength and courage during times of celebration and during times of adversity. Ultimately, greeting cards connect us to each other as immediate family, extended family and a global family.
So, when choosing unique greeting cards, have a new level of consciousness concerning its potential. The magic of your selected beautiful scene and inspirational thoughts may literally be your contribution to change our world, and make it better, one person at a time.
Change Means Action
"Progress is a nice word. But change is its motivator. And change has its enemies." - Robert Kennedy
Change does have enemies and Robert Kennedy knew that truth and paid for it with his blood. Change can be dangerous. That is why our natural instinct is to stay the course; stay put; avoid trying something new; leaving well enough alone; being safe; and I could mention another twenty or so excuses. If you are the type that wants to stay in your comfort zone, you will never experience the immense joy that comes from living. In order to succeed we must take risks and that means we have to change. Robert Kennedy said this in the context of politics. He referred to making progress as a nation. The only way to make progress as a nation is to change our point of view, to change the way we govern ourselves, to change certain laws that are unfair, and change the way we deal with the bad guys.
But his words can apply to any aspect of life, not just politics. In my career as a trainer I can say that change is the one thing that is needed the most and done the least. I have seen people go way out of their way just to avoid change. I trained adults in job readiness skills. Let me tell you that there were times I couldn't even get an adult to change their seat after 20 minutes of being seated in class. That is how ridiculous we can get about change. We all need to train ourselves to be more open. But it goes further than that.
Change is an action word and that means we need to act if we are going to progress. Change is not a theoretical practice of the mind, it implies real physical movement. For example, we may say that we have changed our attitude towards someone, but unless that is followed up by an action towards that certain person, they are only shallow words. Change means to repent. I instantly scare people away as soon as I say that because of the religious overtones. Well you can apply this to religion if you like. All I am saying is when someone says to you to repent, it simply means to change what you are doing. Change requires 3 things. The first is to recognize the need to change. The second is you actually do the action that is required. The third is you maintain the new course of action. Those happen to be the same three things involved in repentance. They say that recognizing that you need to change is half the battle and that is so true in my experience. The changing part is actually a lot less difficult to do than the first part which again is recognizing that you need to change. The final part is easy. It just requires that you keep on doing the new action over and over again. The second part in the middle means you must turn around and do something different to prove that what you recognized as needed to be done will be done. Change is empowering no matter how small it is as long as it is positive. Today, why not give change a chance and perform an action that you know needs to be done in your life. You will be gratified and empowered when you do it!
Change does have enemies and Robert Kennedy knew that truth and paid for it with his blood. Change can be dangerous. That is why our natural instinct is to stay the course; stay put; avoid trying something new; leaving well enough alone; being safe; and I could mention another twenty or so excuses. If you are the type that wants to stay in your comfort zone, you will never experience the immense joy that comes from living. In order to succeed we must take risks and that means we have to change. Robert Kennedy said this in the context of politics. He referred to making progress as a nation. The only way to make progress as a nation is to change our point of view, to change the way we govern ourselves, to change certain laws that are unfair, and change the way we deal with the bad guys.
But his words can apply to any aspect of life, not just politics. In my career as a trainer I can say that change is the one thing that is needed the most and done the least. I have seen people go way out of their way just to avoid change. I trained adults in job readiness skills. Let me tell you that there were times I couldn't even get an adult to change their seat after 20 minutes of being seated in class. That is how ridiculous we can get about change. We all need to train ourselves to be more open. But it goes further than that.
Change is an action word and that means we need to act if we are going to progress. Change is not a theoretical practice of the mind, it implies real physical movement. For example, we may say that we have changed our attitude towards someone, but unless that is followed up by an action towards that certain person, they are only shallow words. Change means to repent. I instantly scare people away as soon as I say that because of the religious overtones. Well you can apply this to religion if you like. All I am saying is when someone says to you to repent, it simply means to change what you are doing. Change requires 3 things. The first is to recognize the need to change. The second is you actually do the action that is required. The third is you maintain the new course of action. Those happen to be the same three things involved in repentance. They say that recognizing that you need to change is half the battle and that is so true in my experience. The changing part is actually a lot less difficult to do than the first part which again is recognizing that you need to change. The final part is easy. It just requires that you keep on doing the new action over and over again. The second part in the middle means you must turn around and do something different to prove that what you recognized as needed to be done will be done. Change is empowering no matter how small it is as long as it is positive. Today, why not give change a chance and perform an action that you know needs to be done in your life. You will be gratified and empowered when you do it!
The Real Secret of Getting What You Want In Life
Have you ever heard the old saying, "If you don't ask, you don't get!"?
It's well worth taking heed of because far too many of us are afraid to ask for the things we need in order to succeed in life. Asking questions can open doors and bring to us the opportunities that without doubt are already out there. So why do we find it so hard?
The chances are that if you went to a good school you were always encouraged to ask questions. If you didn't quite understand what the teacher was telling you the only way to get it was to ask the meaning. As a Dad I certainly urge my sons to ask questions, it's the only way to learn.
But maybe as a child it's easy to say you don't understand and accept that you don't know something. Then it's easy to do something about it, ask for help and find the solution.
But sadly as we get older we stop asking! Maybe it's because we feel that as adults we should know what things mean and how to do them and so we don't want to appear foolish, particularly in front of our friends, family or work colleagues.
Or perhaps we have just stopped caring enough to want to learn new things and gain new experiences. It's sad, because when you do start to ask you usually start to get!
Sure, we all ask for things every day. We have to when we go shopping, go to the cinema, or go to a restaurant. But we only ask for the simple things!
Take that last example. When you go to a restaurant and see something on the menu that is unfamiliar do you ask the waiter what it is? Congratulations if you do, but most people will simply pass it over and stick with what they know. That's an opportunity lost!
And how many times, when in conversation with a group of people has something been mentioned that you don't understand? Instead of saying so and asking for an explanation it's so easy to just stay quiet and stay ignorant. Another chance wasted!
It's true isn't it? You just don't want to appear foolish.
Well it's time to change!
If you really want to move forward then you need to learn new things every day. You need to broaden your horizons, take on new experiences and discover all you need to get where you want to be.
So start asking. Ask what things mean, how to do them, and above all ask for the things you want in life.
The fact is that one of the keys to good conversation is asking questions. People won't think you're dumb or get annoyed. Instead they'll warm to you and you'll soon find that you are gaining all sorts of benefits. So don't be afraid to raise questions. Ask especially about the topics that you need to find out about to help you to achieve your goals.
Ask why, ask who, ask what. All those questions will get people talking and you'll soon to start to learn lots of new facts and information. You'll gain new knowledge and you'll discover new opportunities that will bring success to your life. And don't ever be afraid to ask for help.
So why not start right now by asking yourself some searching questions. Ask what it is you really want in life and what you need to do to get it. Search inside to find what will really bring you the happiness and fulfillment you desire. Because if you don't know what motivates you then you won't get to where you want to be.
So ask, and very soon you will begin to "get"!
It's well worth taking heed of because far too many of us are afraid to ask for the things we need in order to succeed in life. Asking questions can open doors and bring to us the opportunities that without doubt are already out there. So why do we find it so hard?
The chances are that if you went to a good school you were always encouraged to ask questions. If you didn't quite understand what the teacher was telling you the only way to get it was to ask the meaning. As a Dad I certainly urge my sons to ask questions, it's the only way to learn.
But maybe as a child it's easy to say you don't understand and accept that you don't know something. Then it's easy to do something about it, ask for help and find the solution.
But sadly as we get older we stop asking! Maybe it's because we feel that as adults we should know what things mean and how to do them and so we don't want to appear foolish, particularly in front of our friends, family or work colleagues.
Or perhaps we have just stopped caring enough to want to learn new things and gain new experiences. It's sad, because when you do start to ask you usually start to get!
Sure, we all ask for things every day. We have to when we go shopping, go to the cinema, or go to a restaurant. But we only ask for the simple things!
Take that last example. When you go to a restaurant and see something on the menu that is unfamiliar do you ask the waiter what it is? Congratulations if you do, but most people will simply pass it over and stick with what they know. That's an opportunity lost!
And how many times, when in conversation with a group of people has something been mentioned that you don't understand? Instead of saying so and asking for an explanation it's so easy to just stay quiet and stay ignorant. Another chance wasted!
It's true isn't it? You just don't want to appear foolish.
Well it's time to change!
If you really want to move forward then you need to learn new things every day. You need to broaden your horizons, take on new experiences and discover all you need to get where you want to be.
So start asking. Ask what things mean, how to do them, and above all ask for the things you want in life.
The fact is that one of the keys to good conversation is asking questions. People won't think you're dumb or get annoyed. Instead they'll warm to you and you'll soon find that you are gaining all sorts of benefits. So don't be afraid to raise questions. Ask especially about the topics that you need to find out about to help you to achieve your goals.
Ask why, ask who, ask what. All those questions will get people talking and you'll soon to start to learn lots of new facts and information. You'll gain new knowledge and you'll discover new opportunities that will bring success to your life. And don't ever be afraid to ask for help.
So why not start right now by asking yourself some searching questions. Ask what it is you really want in life and what you need to do to get it. Search inside to find what will really bring you the happiness and fulfillment you desire. Because if you don't know what motivates you then you won't get to where you want to be.
So ask, and very soon you will begin to "get"!
Success Is Simple !
Are you determined to become a mega success story?
Then this article will show you the simplest formula for reaching heights of success you've only dreamed about.
Remember that simplicity is not the same thing as ineffectiveness, for true power lies in simplicity. As the saying goes, "Common sense is not always common practice."
Let's begin.
Psychologist Arnold H. Glasgow has said, "Success is simple: do what's right, the right way, at the right time."
That's a simple concept, yet very profound.
The quote lays out three easy steps to simplify success, but those steps must be integrated to work effectively ' you can't afford to skip even one of them.
The first step is to do what is right. If you skip the FIRST and most important step, you're eliminating your chances to succeed.
But how do you know what is right for you?
Simply put, the decisions you make every day must match with your true purpose in life. Every action you take must enhance and solidify who you are and what you were meant to accomplish in this life.
When you have a purpose, your actions naturally become more powerful because they are focused and united to fulfill a sole objective. Consequently, you achieve faster and better results.
The second step is to do it the right way. If you skip this step, you'll find yourself in a never-ending loop of trial and error where you'll just keep re-inventing the wheel, instead of re-inventing yourself.
It has often been said that the easiest way to become successful is to find someone who is already successful and follow in his footsteps.
Take that advice and learn from the best. Look for successful people who have reached the same level of success you want to reach, and learn from both their mistakes and their accomplishments. Imitate their lives, learn their methods, and discover their secrets.
The third and last simple step to success is to choose the right time. Take small actions every single day that lead you toward fulfilling your purpose. Prepare yourself so that when the right opportunity presents itself, you'll be ready to seize it and ride it to unimaginable levels of success. The right time to start taking action is NOW. Even the smallest action can make a big difference. Don't worry about the magnitude of your every move; focus instead on the collective power of all your small actions combined.
"Success is simple. Do what's right, the right way, at the right time."
Do what is right by discovering your true purpose in life.
Do it the right way by learning from the best.
Do it at the right time by taking small actions and preparing yourself to seize opportunity when it presents itself.
Can success be that simple?
It can be if you start NOW!
Then this article will show you the simplest formula for reaching heights of success you've only dreamed about.
Remember that simplicity is not the same thing as ineffectiveness, for true power lies in simplicity. As the saying goes, "Common sense is not always common practice."
Let's begin.
Psychologist Arnold H. Glasgow has said, "Success is simple: do what's right, the right way, at the right time."
That's a simple concept, yet very profound.
The quote lays out three easy steps to simplify success, but those steps must be integrated to work effectively ' you can't afford to skip even one of them.
The first step is to do what is right. If you skip the FIRST and most important step, you're eliminating your chances to succeed.
But how do you know what is right for you?
Simply put, the decisions you make every day must match with your true purpose in life. Every action you take must enhance and solidify who you are and what you were meant to accomplish in this life.
When you have a purpose, your actions naturally become more powerful because they are focused and united to fulfill a sole objective. Consequently, you achieve faster and better results.
The second step is to do it the right way. If you skip this step, you'll find yourself in a never-ending loop of trial and error where you'll just keep re-inventing the wheel, instead of re-inventing yourself.
It has often been said that the easiest way to become successful is to find someone who is already successful and follow in his footsteps.
Take that advice and learn from the best. Look for successful people who have reached the same level of success you want to reach, and learn from both their mistakes and their accomplishments. Imitate their lives, learn their methods, and discover their secrets.
The third and last simple step to success is to choose the right time. Take small actions every single day that lead you toward fulfilling your purpose. Prepare yourself so that when the right opportunity presents itself, you'll be ready to seize it and ride it to unimaginable levels of success. The right time to start taking action is NOW. Even the smallest action can make a big difference. Don't worry about the magnitude of your every move; focus instead on the collective power of all your small actions combined.
"Success is simple. Do what's right, the right way, at the right time."
Do what is right by discovering your true purpose in life.
Do it the right way by learning from the best.
Do it at the right time by taking small actions and preparing yourself to seize opportunity when it presents itself.
Can success be that simple?
It can be if you start NOW!
Now Mary - Now Martha!
While downstairs for a lunch break (ah, peanut butter passion ice cream!), it occurred to me to talk about “Mary and Martha”.
Now don’t ask me why. The thought just occurred to me. But I think it has something to do with the Odds/Ends I first talked about here earlier this a.m. You know, the task-oriented vs the not so task-oriented (or something like that).
I’m sure most of you know a little something about Mary & Martha. Mary, Martha and their brother Lazarus were all close friends of Jesus. Not only was he their friend, but he was their Rabboni (means ‘teacher’ in Hebrew). They lived in Bethany, a small village within a days walk of Jerusalem. Whenever Jesus needed a break, he would drop by their home just to chat, eat, relax and recoup his energy.
The two women were dramatically different. Martha, the type-A personality with anal tendencies and a slight persecution complex, would have a “dither-fit”. Clean house, do laundry, kill the fatted calf and generally set about taking care of the domestic needs required to entertain the “teacher”. I imagine she worked herself into a “dither” as she scurried about to make everything ‘perfect’ for their visitor.
Mary on the other hand, had a more other-worldly approach to life. She was studious, eager to learn, more in touch with her inner life and less concerned about domestic matters. Oh I’m sure she did what was required of her in preparation for his visit, but when he got there - forget cooking, cleaning or anything else remotely related to domestication. While Martha ’slaved’ in the kitchen, Mary was perfectly content to sit at his feet, pry him with questions about life and matters of the spirit while her sister ’slaved’ away.
Being a good anal persecutory personality as she was, Martha complained loudly about her sister’s lack of respect for her (Martha) by leaving the preparation to Martha alone to sit at Jesus’ feet and soak up his every word.
Can you blame Martha? There’s a job to be done and “oh my goodness, do I always have to do it by myself!” Spoken by a tried and true task-oriented woman who has little or no time for the ‘fluff’ of wasting time learning something new and exciting from the “teacher”.
Martha must have proclaimed and complained loudly. Anyway, as the story goes, Jesus chided Martha for her uncharitable attitude toward her sister and gave Martha something profound to ‘chew on’. Basically his viewpoint was that “what difference is it to you, Martha, if your sister wants to focus on the things that make a true difference in life?”
Oh that must have boiled Martha’s blood! How dare he put her down in that way! After all, if it weren’t for her, he’d have nothing to eat or drink.
Now, what’s the moral or purpose for my retelling in modern context this ancient story? What occurs to me is that in each of us there is a Martha and a Mary! One to get the job done efficiently, effectively and in timely manner and one to take time to rest, relax, question, contemplate and take stock!
Last night, my “Martha” was on full display! Yes, I was typical “type-A”; somewhat “anal” and complained bitterly to ’self’ that I had to keep going over and over something with which I was quite comfortable and that time was ‘fleeting’ and nit-picking each word seemed a waste of time . . . etc, etc, etc!
Yet no one loves taking time to ’sit at the teacher’s feet’ and listen, contemplate and otherwise grow in wisdom, stature and hopefully ‘grace’. I love to learn new things. And I love to ‘vegetate’ from time to time - you know - do nothing. ABOLUTELY NOTHING!
As I reflect on this conversation and what prompted it, I’m amused. I’m amused that in one human person, there can be so much contradition. Before you think we’re not all included in this - please be advised that none of us gets a ‘pass’ on this one.
‘Tis true! There’s a Martha and a Mary in each of us. And that ‘ain’t bad. The key is knowing when it’s fully appropriate to let ‘Martha’ have her way and when it’s best to be a ‘Mary’.
And when in working with others, know which ‘lady’ ought to have the upper hand for the task at hand so that our human dealings will be one of cooperation, coordination and collaboration rather than a trip down ego-lane with Martha shouting from the kitchen while Mary turns a deaf ear.
Ah, just something to comtemplate as we head into the weekend!
May it be awesome, love-filled and rich with great ’stuff’!
Now don’t ask me why. The thought just occurred to me. But I think it has something to do with the Odds/Ends I first talked about here earlier this a.m. You know, the task-oriented vs the not so task-oriented (or something like that).
I’m sure most of you know a little something about Mary & Martha. Mary, Martha and their brother Lazarus were all close friends of Jesus. Not only was he their friend, but he was their Rabboni (means ‘teacher’ in Hebrew). They lived in Bethany, a small village within a days walk of Jerusalem. Whenever Jesus needed a break, he would drop by their home just to chat, eat, relax and recoup his energy.
The two women were dramatically different. Martha, the type-A personality with anal tendencies and a slight persecution complex, would have a “dither-fit”. Clean house, do laundry, kill the fatted calf and generally set about taking care of the domestic needs required to entertain the “teacher”. I imagine she worked herself into a “dither” as she scurried about to make everything ‘perfect’ for their visitor.
Mary on the other hand, had a more other-worldly approach to life. She was studious, eager to learn, more in touch with her inner life and less concerned about domestic matters. Oh I’m sure she did what was required of her in preparation for his visit, but when he got there - forget cooking, cleaning or anything else remotely related to domestication. While Martha ’slaved’ in the kitchen, Mary was perfectly content to sit at his feet, pry him with questions about life and matters of the spirit while her sister ’slaved’ away.
Being a good anal persecutory personality as she was, Martha complained loudly about her sister’s lack of respect for her (Martha) by leaving the preparation to Martha alone to sit at Jesus’ feet and soak up his every word.
Can you blame Martha? There’s a job to be done and “oh my goodness, do I always have to do it by myself!” Spoken by a tried and true task-oriented woman who has little or no time for the ‘fluff’ of wasting time learning something new and exciting from the “teacher”.
Martha must have proclaimed and complained loudly. Anyway, as the story goes, Jesus chided Martha for her uncharitable attitude toward her sister and gave Martha something profound to ‘chew on’. Basically his viewpoint was that “what difference is it to you, Martha, if your sister wants to focus on the things that make a true difference in life?”
Oh that must have boiled Martha’s blood! How dare he put her down in that way! After all, if it weren’t for her, he’d have nothing to eat or drink.
Now, what’s the moral or purpose for my retelling in modern context this ancient story? What occurs to me is that in each of us there is a Martha and a Mary! One to get the job done efficiently, effectively and in timely manner and one to take time to rest, relax, question, contemplate and take stock!
Last night, my “Martha” was on full display! Yes, I was typical “type-A”; somewhat “anal” and complained bitterly to ’self’ that I had to keep going over and over something with which I was quite comfortable and that time was ‘fleeting’ and nit-picking each word seemed a waste of time . . . etc, etc, etc!
Yet no one loves taking time to ’sit at the teacher’s feet’ and listen, contemplate and otherwise grow in wisdom, stature and hopefully ‘grace’. I love to learn new things. And I love to ‘vegetate’ from time to time - you know - do nothing. ABOLUTELY NOTHING!
As I reflect on this conversation and what prompted it, I’m amused. I’m amused that in one human person, there can be so much contradition. Before you think we’re not all included in this - please be advised that none of us gets a ‘pass’ on this one.
‘Tis true! There’s a Martha and a Mary in each of us. And that ‘ain’t bad. The key is knowing when it’s fully appropriate to let ‘Martha’ have her way and when it’s best to be a ‘Mary’.
And when in working with others, know which ‘lady’ ought to have the upper hand for the task at hand so that our human dealings will be one of cooperation, coordination and collaboration rather than a trip down ego-lane with Martha shouting from the kitchen while Mary turns a deaf ear.
Ah, just something to comtemplate as we head into the weekend!
May it be awesome, love-filled and rich with great ’stuff’!
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